A time with whanau

Kia ora

Here is the recount I wrote  for an Asttle writing test in Week 4.  Our teacher marked all our recounts and gave us our scores. Mine came out at Level  2a  which is just below the end of year standard for Year Five. I got the most points for sentence structure and the lowest points for punctuation and spelling.  

We helped each other improve them by reading each other’s recount and talking about them. We also used Revision Assistant to help edit each other’s story and Mrs B added some notes as well. Everyone in our room likes Revision Assistant because it’s easy to understand the marks/ notes that it puts on your writing and so it’s quick for us to go and do the fix-ups. We have to have practically perfect grammar, punctuation and spelling in our stories before we are allowed to publish them here. I hope someone will give me some feedback.

Ka kite ano

“Yay!!” I yelled. On Friday the 21st, my family & I went to Whangarei to get my sister. Later… after everything we went to Jimmy Jack's for dinner. I got hotdogs,fries and nuggets. They were delicious. For dessert I had ice cream with a chocolate cookie in a little frying pan. That was sweet, delicious & hot.

We all tasted the ribs. Everyone liked them but me. I said, “Awesome hot dogs!” Then, after Mum & Dad tried my dessert Mum said, “Yumm!!”

Dad said, “That’s pretty sweet.”

Then we all went home. I went in my uncle’s new car. “It was awesome!!” I said. The car was black & it had cool seats. When we all got home I went to bed. It has been a fun & awesome day.